Fantastic Baby #28playslater #day10

the prompt was to write a K-Pop juke box musical:


A busy, colourful street market in Seoul. Vegetables, antiques, vintage clothes, old women inspecting pak choi, harried mothers chasing toddlers.  The opening beat of Big Bang’s Fantastic Baby fades up and seamlessly everyone at the market is doing their thing to the catchy beat. One teenage girl, JISU, catches sight of someone or something and screams a fangirl scream. Two others join her, JIHEE and MINA.

Five teenage boys, dressed as the members of BIG BANG walk across the stage as gods passing among mortals.

An old lady, MINJUN shakes JISU out of her hysteria.

Stop! Peace! Pull yourself together. All of you.

But I love SEUNGRI. I love him and he was here in the market.

Someday you will blush at your foolishness. This Seungri will embarass you.

NEVER! NEVER! When I am fifty years old I will still love Seungri with all my heart. We will be married. I know he needs me. 

I love TOP. I know he’s the one for me.

They put five of them in a band to foster your hopes. Which are in vain.

You are wrong. You are stupid. You don’t know anything.

They looked a little gay for you.

What do you know? Of course they are open to all sexualities.

(taking JIHEE aside) It is wrong to be disrespectful to our elders. I know we will always love Big Bang and their progressive ways. We must explain it to her gently.

JISU, JIHEE and MINA sing Girl Generation’s Gee. They have help from the people in the market. It’s sweet and full of unselfconscious love and longing. MINJUN watches, at first unconvinced. By the end of the song, MINJUN has shared some sweets with the girls and has generally been buttered up.


A figure is in the bed - it looks like JISU sleeping. A window opens and the actual JISU climbs in. She changes into pyjamas, takes the clothes stuffing the bed out and climbs in bed during her line. 

I am crazy. I am searching out of devotion to a man who doesn’t know I exist. Doesn’t know. What am I looking for? A kitten to save. A picture to take. A robber to kill. Something that would bring me his attention. Seungri! How I love you. I feel it in every millimitre of my flesh. Every gram of my body.

She nods off to sleep. BRITNEY SPEARS enters.

Honey. Honey wake up.

Who are you?

Who am I? I’m a legend with a Vegas show. I am the OG of the aesthetic of K-Pop. (not unkindly) I’m Britney Spears, bitch and you need to show some respect.

Am I dreaming?

I don’t know what you’re doing. I just know that it’s not finding me some bourbon.


JISU scrambles out of bed and exits.

(talking after her) You must need advice on becoming a pop star. That or you want tickets to my Vegas show.

JISU returns with a whiskey.

If I was a pop star. Seungri would know me.

BRITNEY takes a sip of her drink.

I’m going to let this slide but there is a difference between whiskey and bourbon.

I thought it was the same.

No. It’s not. If you’re going to appropriate our culture do it right.... (finishes drink) 
Yeah honey so let’s run a few numbers let me give you some tips. It seems like everyone on this island knows all my choreography already so it won’t be hard.

BRITNEY and JISU perform BoA’s No. 1. 


MINJUN’s bedroom. Next to her is a picture. She gets up and writes a letter, really writes it, on paper. She reads it as she writes.

Dear Jangmi, Today in the market some girls were swooning over a band and it made me think of the way we used to look at the newspaper picture of Ray Milland and take turns staring into his eyes to feel a thrill.

She takes the paper very close to her eyes and stares. Then resumes.

The cabbages from the market are very fine these days and large. We read that you starve in the North and I ask our ancestors every day to feed you. I burn white paper so I will be pure so the Great Mother will hear my prayers. I do not forget you. You are my blood.

She falls asleep JANGMI enters with BRITNEY SPEARS. They are chatting.

So you’re saying that puppet from the Team America movie won’t let you see you sister. That’s terrible.

Jangmi stares intensely at the simplicity of her sleeping sister. She wakes her and they embrace.

Do you have any bourbon?

This is a dream.

Yes. Tonight we share a dream.

The sisters perform GOT7’s Moonlight together. The lyrics are subtly changed to be more sisterly than romantic and in the end the lyrics are changed so that JANGMI suggests to MINJUN that she sneak into North Korea and assassinate Kim Jong Un.

(unphased) I think that’s right.  He killed Hans Blix with his sharks. I think it’s better.


The Market as in Scene One. JISU, JIHEE and MINA run into MINJUN. They greet each other affectionately. They make plans to organize the DMZ’s Got Talent so JISU can launch her career while MINJUN sneaks across the border to assassinate Kim Jong Un.

JISU, JIHEE and MINA rehearse their entry in the DMZ competition. They perform another K-Pop number but amidst all singing about longing and Britney Spears dancing, JIHEE and MINA realize that they long for each other. The scene ends in their passionate embrace. 


It’s the DMZ, but it’s cartoony - North Korea Stage Right, South Korea Stage Left, the centre set up for a big show. The guards are carrying glowsticks and some are sporting skinny ties. The members of BIG BANG, the five boy band, open the show with their hit Fantastic Baby. 

MINJIN dances with the guards.

At the end of Fantastic Baby, SEUNGRI takes over as MC. HE announces the first performers, a group of guards.

They perform Psy’s Gangnam Style.

MINJIN uses the opportunity to bid farewell to JIHEE, JISU and MINA. She exits.

JIHEE, JISU and MINA start to perform AOA’s Bing Bing. They are good, and Seungri is watching but halfway through, a shot rings out. There are screams, JIHEE and the others desist. 

Two people from the crowd carry a bloodied MINJIN onto the stage. MINJIN is placed on a stretcher and bandaged. JIHEE, seeing MINJIN has failed, runs into the crowd and off stage.

JIHEE and JISU, left on their own, launch into a K-Poppified cover of Indigo Girls’ Closer to Fine.

JIHEE returns with Kim Jong Un’s head. She is bloodied but strides over and shows the head.

Britney Spears says cultural appropriation must be complete! It is complete! It is complete!

She claims her spoils from SEUNGRI. They totally make out.

One of the GUARDs, a tenor, takes the stage and sings a simple a cappella version of Arirang, the beloved Korean folk song. All join in. 



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